Friday Follies - Some Fatherly Advice



With Father's Day looming this weekend (in the Southern Hemisphere), I thought it might be a good time to reflect on fathers, because, well, we all have them in one form or other.  Whether they be still with us, no longer with us, present, absent, biological fathers, stepfathers.....we all have them.


Cute!



I've only ever had one father in any form, so I can only speak to that experience.  My dad was always full of 'fatherly' advice, as I'm sure yours was too.  I wouldn't say that it was always good, but it was always there and definitely plentiful.  You didn't have to ask for it either, it was freely given.

Recreation of me winning a fight
with my brother

I think as a small child, the advice you get is fairly basic (and probably not always true...you see, my face DIDN'T freeze that way, thank you very much) and often revolved around safety and manners.  Don't touch that. Say please.  See if you can figure it out yourself first.  Don't hit your brother in the testicles, it's a sensitive area on a boy (yes, I remember that one.  I'm not sure if the result was what Dad intended, but it did clue me in to the fact that if I wanted to win a fight, I should knee my brother in the nuts.....  Thanks Dad!).  And so on.....

As I got older, the advice changed and became more age appropriate.  I usually did quite well in school (I didn't dare not to - both of my parents were teachers), and would get quite upset if I bombed a test or didn't get assignments handed in in time.  I can remember in junior high school, I had a particular English teacher that gave me 60% on every assignment and exam, no matter how hard I tried.  Previously, I had received excellent marks in English (again, Dad was an English teacher, what could I do - although I think he cringes at my use of language these days.) and had teachers that encouraged me to investigate professions such as journalism (Dad was a journalist too early in his career...oh dear!).  I approached Dad to help me with my English class so that I could get better marks.  No matter how hard I tried - 60%.  Dad was getting frustrated too, so being a Shakespeare fan, he did one of my assignments for me.  Guess what?  He got a 60%.  Dad's advice after that was 'Screw it, just do your best.'  I did, and never got better than a 60%.  Thanks Mrs Batey.

To be or not to be 60%

And then the teenage years hit, and quite frankly, my Dad's advice was not welcome.  I pretty much viewed him as someone who didn't understand and would never understand.  Now that I know the stories from his wayward youth, I probably should have listened to his advice and might have saved myself a lot of pain.  But we have to learn our own lessons, don't we?

As I slid ungracefully into adulthood (the teen years were not my best), I realised that this old guy actually knew what he was talking about.  He was still full of shit, but he knew what he was talking about.  He has taught me not to worry about the small things, just do my best and it will all work out.  He has taught me that it is more than okay to fail, you need to fail to grow.  He has taught me the importance of family and friends, and that you don't need a lot of friends, as many will come and go throughout your life organically, but there will always be some very true friends.  He has taught me how to expect to be treated by a man and that I am worth something.

Perhaps one bit of advice he has given me always gives me a giggle.  It's not appropriate for every occasion, but I do like to pull it out of my hat once in awhile.  "A faint heart never f**d a pig."  Eloquent, to say the least.  So take that risk, face that challenge, because you need to be brave, and even if it doesn't work out, at least you tried, and that's more than some people ever do.

Thanks Dad, and Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there in all of their wonderful forms.  And Happy Father's Day to all the pet-parents too!.



Happy Father's Day!