Friday Follies - Part 2 - Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi!

My apologies for not posting a blog on Tuesday - I was busy having fun with some family that was in town.
Now, back to some great Aussie sayings....


Don't get them mixed up

Blokes and Sheilas

Blokes are men and Sheilas are women.  Bloke has been in use since1829, but Sheila comes from an Irish word meaning girlfriend, and didn't come into use until around 1914 in Australia.

Crikey

This word expresses surprise or astonishment.  Made famous by Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter.

Not made from dog's eye...or is it?

Dogs Eye

Believe it or not, this means a meat pie.  It derives from the Cockney rhyming slang that was in use when the convicts came to Australia.

Fair Go

To have a fair go means that you have a reasonable chance or a fair deal.  Everyone is entitled to a fair go - we all should be given the same chance.  Another variation is 'Fair shake of the sauce bottle' meaning that you want to be given the same chance as everyone else.

Flat Out Like A Lizard Drinking

A particular favourite of mine - I don't use it, but I like it as it gives you a good visual when someone says it.  As you would expect, it means that you are going flat out or at top speed.

Larry.  He's happy.

Happy As Larry

I'm not sure who Larry is, but he's happy and it means that you are happy too!  The origins of this phrase are unknown, but it was first recorded in Australia in the 1880's, but there is some evidence that it has Irish or Scottish origins.

Give the hard word....okay, there are no memes

Hard Word

Okay, I misunderstood this one when I heard it.  I thought it meant to come down hard on someone, be stern with them.  Apparently not - it usually means to make demands on someone sexually, but it can refer to monetary demands as well.  Yes, I misused it and yes, people laughed.

Mad As a Cut Snake

If you are mad as a cut snake, you are very eccentric / crazy or very angry.  As in, 'I was happy as Larry until Johnno tried to put the hard word on me, then I was as mad as a cut snake."  The phrase was first recorded in the early 1900's, and a similar phrase is mad as a gumtree full of galahs.  Personally, I like that one better because galahs make me smile as they waddle around with their pink a grey plumage, pecking at tasty morsels in the grass.  But I digress...

It's been awhile since I've referenced Star Trek

Like a Stunned Mullet

Aside from the hairstyle (although I have seen some 'stunning' mullets!), this phrase means that you are dazed, stupefied, unconscious or shocked. 

No Worries

Almost the minute that you arrive in Australia, this saying rings in your ears.  If someone says that to you, it means that all is good, that it is no trouble at all or everything will be alright.  This was first recorded in the 1960's.

Even roos can be ocker

Ocker or Yobbo

To be ocker or a yobbo means that you are an uncouth, uncultivated or an aggressively boorish Australian male or just a typical average Australian male.

To Get the Rough End of the Pineapple

This means that you got a raw deal or received unfair treatment. 

This one looks quite calm

To Carry On Like a Pork Chop

This is a pretty common phrase that you hear a lot. It means to carry on, rant, to have a tantrum.  It is meant to allude to the sound of a pork chop sizzling in the pan.

You Right?

This is also very common, and often heard in a shop - as in 'Are you all right?', as in 'Do you need help or assistance?'.

Sanger

This one had me stumped for a long time.  It is a slang word for sandwich.  Don't ask me.....

Snag

Again, a slang word for sausage.  You can actually have a snag sanger if you are interested.

I Didn't Come Down in the Last Shower

This means that you aren't stupid, no one is going to pull the wool over your eyes.  The first evidence of this phrase was in Australia in 1883.

Even koalas do it

Sickie - To Chuck a Sickie

A 'sickie' is a sick day off work, usually without any medical reason.  To 'chuck a sickie' means that you are going to take a day off work 'sick', even though you most likely are not ill.

Spit the Dummy

In Australia, a soother is called a dummy, so if you spit the dummy, you have a tantrum or a cry.

An Australian Classic

Straight to the Poolroom

If you haven't seen it, please see the 1997 movie 'The Castle'.  It is absolutely full of Australian sayings, slang and culture.  This phrase comes directly from the movie, when the main character, Darryl, is given something really special and he wants it to go straight to the poolroom for display and for everyone to see.

To Have Tickets on Yourself

People that have tickets on themselves are usually conceited or have an inflated sense of ego.  The phrase first became popular during the First World War and had increased usage in the 1920's and 1930's.


On the Turps

This comes from a shortening of the word 'turpentine' and it alludes to the use of turpentine or methylated spirits by down-and-out alcoholics.  Originally used to refer to someone drinking gin or rum, it is now used for all alcoholic beverages.  A similar phrase for being drunk is having a 'gutful of piss' (piss being a slang word for alcohol).  If you can't handle very much alcohol, you are a 'two pot screamer' - a pot is a measurement of draft beer and is half the size of a pint of beer.


General Insults

Aussies have a very creative use of language, and this shines bright when they are insulting someone.  Some examples of creative insults are:

• A few (kanga)roos loose in the top paddock. (a bit daft, not all there in the head)
• Couldn't find a grand piano in a one roomed house.
• Couldn't blow the froth off a glass of beer.
• A (lamb or pork) chop short of a barbie (barbecue).
• Useless as ashtray on a motorbikes

Friday Follies - Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi!

After such a positive reaction to my last blog about the 'Aussie' language, I need to revisit this subject.  This is Part 1 of some iconic Aussie words and sayings.

I can hear you cheering Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi! 
For those that aren't familiar with that chant, pay close attention at the next Commonwealth Games or Olympics, or any sporting event for that matter, where Australia is competing.  The cheer is usually accompanied by waving of the flag, the donning of green and yellow apparel, blow up kangaroos and fistfuls of beer.

There are quite a few other Australian sayings and phrases that can be baffling if you are new to the country.  I've listed a few below (but trust me, there are many, many more!).

You don't know whether you're Arthur or Martha

The phrase was first recorded in the 1940's, and means that you are confused - you don't know if you are coming or going.

Battler

A battler is someone who is doing it tough - 'battling' through life. Aussie's will often back the battler and cheer for the underdog.  Which brings me to...

Tall Poppy Syndrome

Australian's, while cheering for someone who is struggling or fighting an uphill battle, also like to humble someone that thinks they are better than everyone else.  People of high status (tall poppies) are often resented and cut down to size.  The phrase can be found in use in Australia as early as 1864 in reference to someone that was awarded a knighthood.

Bludger

Originally bludger was British slang for a prostitute's pimp and was found in use in Australia in the 1880's.  It was defined at that time as 'plunderers in company with prostitutes' and 'a thief who will use his bludgeon and lives on the gains of immoral women.'  Today it's meaning is still mostly the same, meaning someone that lives off the efforts of others, as in 'dole bludger' - someone who doesn't work and lives off the government.

Eric Bana played a bogan in
his early acting days

Bogan

This is a very common word here in Australia.  Bogan is meant to be slightly derogatory, but now is often used as a badge of honour.  It's basic meaning is an uncultured and unsophisticated person, someone who is uncouth.  As far as words go, bogan is a recent addition to the vocabulary of Australians and became widespread in use in the 1980's.

The good kind of budgie smugglers

Budgie Smugglers

A descriptive phrase for tight-fitting male swimwear that leaves little to the imagination (also known as dicktogs).  The term was first recorded in the 1990's and is thought to derive from the English phrase - grape smugglers.  As with most Australia words and phrases, it is often shortened to 'budgies' as in "Look at the bogan strutting about in his budgies."

Cobber

Cobber means friend or companion.  There is some debate regarding its derivation, some believe it is from the Yiddish word 'chaber' (comrade) while other believe that it originated from the British word 'cob' (to take a liking to someone).  Nevertheless, it has been in use since at least the 1890's, although is not as popular today as 'mate'.

Cooee

This was originally a call by an Aboriginal person to communicate with another person some distance away.  It derives from the Aboriginal word 'gawi' or 'guwi' and means  'come here'. Today it is still widely used as a signal in the bush.  If someone is 'within cooee' they are within earshot.

Dinkum or Fair Dinkum

If something is dinkum, it is reliable, honest and true.  Fair dinkum means fair dealing that is just and equitable.  The phrase was recorded in Lincolnshire in 1881 and first recorded in Australia in the 1890's.





Drop Bear

A native (imaginary) animal that has extremely sharp teeth.  While it resembles a koala, it loves to devour tourists after dropping onto them from trees.  Some believe that the term originated during the Second World War, but the first record of its use was in the 1980's.

Part 2 next Friday.....



There's a Mouse in the House

Some days I get a bit stressed out that I'm not going to pluck a blog subject out of the ethereal workings of my mind, and other days an idea just drops into my lap like a gift from the creative gods.  This weekend was such a time.


I prefer this type of gift



For the last few weeks, the cats have been honing their mouse hunting skills to such a degree that a 'gift' is announced nightly.  Some nights I am fortunate enough to be woken by the gifts being presented under my bed by a very proud feline.  I don't appreciate these gifts other than being thankful that the cats are keeping the mouse population down - it must be the dry weather combined with spring/breeding season, but the cats don't seem to lack for choice.

On Friday night, not only was I blessed once by my cats, but three times.  Goodness, that was a fun night, and I mean fun in the sense of trying on bathing suits at the end of a particularly indulgent winter with bright lighting and unflattering mirror angles.  Clawde and Purrkins must think that we are the worst providers on earth, continually showing us how it's done, how good they are at it, and how very much they love us.

Why are the mirrors so unflattering?

For the first incident I was woken from a very pleasant sleep to hear the slap of the cat door and the operatic notes of Clawde telling all within earshot of his great gift.  I got up, and with bleary eyes fished the small torch out of my bedside table to peek under the bed.  Once I had confirmation that there was, in fact, a small mouse in Clawde's mouth, I opened the bedroom patio door to encourage him to take it back outside.  Clawde, being the thoughtful sweetpea that he is, thought I would benefit from a game of chasing, so he ran around the house, periodically dropping the mouse and picking it up until finally I persuaded him to go out front door.  Oh, what fun we had. 

Shawn slept through the whole thing, I might add, the echo of his snores providing a backdrop to our slightly Benny Hill-esque sprint through the house.



The second incident occurred a couple of hours later, after I was lulled into a good deep sleep.  Again, a slap of the cat door, an announcement of the gift, a fumble for the torch and the opening of the door.  I am getting so much practice at this that I managed to tightly and doggedly grasp onto the last vestiges of sleep, only awake enough to ensure that I didn't step on anything that might cause a squeal and slight bladder leakage.  This time I had better success with Clawde departing the premises quickly.  I crawled back into bed and was just about asleep when I heard the distinct crunch of teeth meeting mouse.  Whoops - Clawde must have left the gift before he dashed and Purrkins found it.  I often have evidence to the contrary, but in this instance it seems that Purrkins may have been the smarter one, waiting for his late night snack delivery. 

Shawn slept through the whole thing.

The third incidence was the pièce de résistance.  You know the sequence by now, and this time it was about 5 am and I had already let the dogs out for their morning ablutions.  Clearly thinking he was The Man, Clawde brought in this delectable piece and it was clear that he was impressed with himself - so impressed that he decided to have a jolly good game with it under our bed.  As I leaned down the side of the bed to check out the situation, I spied a tiny mouse doing a combination hop/jump towards me. Eeek!  'Clawde!', I screamed, 'take it outside.'  With a dexterity that most don't think I'm capable of, I quickly jumped out of bed and opened the screen door, while simultaneously encouraging Clawde very firmly to get out.  Typical of a cat, he ignored me.  It was much more fun to cruelly pick up and then let free this poor creature.  By this time, Purrkins thought he'd come and check it out, watching lazily from the sidelines. 

Guess what?  Shawn woke up this time!  Sensing where this was going, he went to have a shower, leaving us to it.

Oh look, a mouse!

I watched the taunting for a minute or so, realising that neither cat was inclined to finish the job.  At one stage, the little mouse made a run for it, while Clawde and Purrkins decided that it was time for a mutual grooming session.  Seriously?  It was time to bring in the big guns.



Chamois has proven herself in the past when we have had a rat problem at the chicken coop.  She is ridiculously quick and efficient, nothing escapes and nothing suffers.  I called her in, knowing that I needed her skills once again.  She picked up the mouse swiftly and then put it down again...unharmed!  I threw some verbal encouragement in her direction, and like a good dog (which she often isn't), she picked it up again and took it to her bed.  I was so pleased and went to get some paper towel to pick up the carcass and dispose of the body.   When I came back, the little dear was sitting next to Chamois on the bed, with Chamois looking at me blankly while laying quietly beside it.  If I had not have witnessed it myself, I wouldn't have believed it, but the mouse actually ran up one of her front legs and across Chamois' chest.  This did prompt a slight reaction from Chamois - she picked it up and put it in the little crook where her leg meets her chest.  Any time it tried to get away, she just put it back.  I would not even begin to unravel what was going on in her mind, but she was calm and happy.

Enough was enough, and I grabbed a blanket off one of the other dog's beds, scooped up the mouse and released it outside.  Any mouse that can survive two cats and one extra large, extra weird dog deserves to live another day.

And I've learned to lock the cat door before bedtime.

  

Friday Follies - A Canadian Navigating the Australian Vernacular, Eh?

I have been very blessed to have dual citizenship and spend my life in both Canada and Australia.  Both countries are members of the Commonwealth which means that they both have enough in common that they don't feel totally foreign to each other, and enough differences to know that you are in a different country.  Each country has a rich and similar history that has evolved over similar timelines, with the people sharing a sense of adventure, humour and attitudes.  With English as the native language (French as well in Canada, n'est-ce pas?), metric measurements (although the Canadians like to call kilometres 'klicks' - as in it's 6 klicks down the road, turn right at MickeyD's....) and Prime Ministers in charge, Canadians and Australians probably have more in common with each other than any other country. We could arguably add New Zealand into the mix, bro, but they wear jandals and put their beers in a chilly bin, so we'll exclude them for now.



Having lived most of my life in Canada, moving back to Australia involved the challenge of navigating the slang.  At least Canucks and Aussies know to spell neighbourhood and humour, not like the Yanks who are lazy spellers and leave out vowels.  Even though I have now lived here for 16 years, Canada is part of me, and sometimes the odd Canadian phrase will escape my lips, and it's blank stares all around.  Cultural education should go both ways.

Toque

Mukluks

In Canada, that thing that goes on your head to keep it warm is called a toque, not a beanie.  And to be honest, I see a lot of beanie wearing here where the temperature is still above 0C.  I don't think they have ever experienced being truly, truly cold. They have never known the particular pain of having your ears unfreeze after you forgot to wear your toque. On the opposite end of your body, Canadians wear mukluks and the Aussies wear Ugg boots.  Personally, well decorated mukluks win in my book any day, but you can't beat the comfort of an Uggy.

Which brings me to my next point.  Why do Australians feel the need to shorten EVERYTHING?  I have listed a few examples below.

Uggies - As mentioned above, Ugg boots

Mozzies - Mosquitos

Cozzies / Togs - Swimming costumes / bathers / swimsuits.  For tight fitting male swimsuits - the descriptive yet slightly disgusting Dicktogs, such as those favoured by a previous Prime Minister.

Something you don't see every day - a PM in dicktogs

Cuppa - Cup of tea or coffee

Maccas - MacDonalds, the place where you get a hamburger made with mince, not a hamburger made with hamburger and enjoy your soft drink, not pop.

Arvo - Afternoon, as in 'do you want to have a cuppa this arvo?'. Not to be confused with 'avo', which is short for avocado.

Footy - Football - which is even more confusing because that can mean soccer, rugby league, rugby union or Aussie Rules Football.  In Canada it means gridiron football.

Biccy - Biscuit (Aussie) / cookie (Canuck)

Choccy - Chocolate - delicious in any country,





Accadacca - AC/DC, need I say more?  Pretty much the backdrop music for growing up in Australia or Canada in the 80's and 90's.

Servo - Service station (Aussie) / gas station (Canuck).  Which brings  me to putting gas in the car.  You don't do this in Australia - it's petrol.  Gas is used for natural gas, but petrol is what goes in most cars, unless it's diesel, then it's diesel!

Tinny - Tin, or can, of beer

Careers - you have Cabbie, Tradie (tradesman), Postie (postman), Ambo (ambularnce attendant), Firie (fireman), Brickie (bricklayer), Chippie (carpenter), Muso (musician), Garbo (garbageman)...the list goes on and on.

And don't forget that Santa gives you a pressie (present) at Chrissie (Christmas).

I still have the constant battle of to-MAY-to versus to-MAH-to.  I believe that I am correct with my Canadian pronunciation.  Who says po-TAH-to? It's po-TAY-to in any country.

No matter what language or slang is used, both countries are great and blessed countries. 



Loonie and Toonie



At the end of the day, no matter where you live, you've just gotta give'r, eh?  We are all trying to deke out life, enjoy a mickey or two-four that we bought with loonies and toonies while being a keener at work to avoid going on the pogie. 

Figure that one out, Aussies!

PS - I have heard just as many Aussies, particularly Queenslanders, say 'eh' as Canadians. So take off, you hoser.

Bob & Doug McKenzie - true Canadian Hoser





 

  

 

 

 

Battle of the Beds

Who said sharing is caring?

If there is one thing that is consistent in this house, it is the Battle of the Beds. It is most important to ensure that you are on the 'best' bed in the house if you are of the four-legged variety.  The 'best' is not always the same, and can change without notice.  I don't know what the criteria for the best bed is, nor am I aware of the algorithms used to calculate how often it should change, but I do know that it is very important.

The dogs each have an extra-large memory foam bed that takes up half of the living room.  Not only do they get to lay their massive bodies on memory foam, they also get to snuggle into a single bed quilt each.  Now I admit, this is more for my convenience than theirs, as the dogs seem to always be filthy, and it is easier to wash the quilts every week than take the covers off the beds and wrestle them back on (with associated swear words and grunts).  The cats have a smaller dog bed that they have taken over, a cat tree plus every piece of furniture in the house.  The humans slot in as necessary.

King Clawde - Smallest Pet, Biggest Bed.
I think Chamois lost this round.

Normally each dog has a preferred bed, but Chamois (who is a  head-strong, stubborn cow if truth be told) decides that Manu's bed is her preferred bed, no matter what bed he is on.  When the dogs are let in, it is sometimes a race to see who gets the 'preferred' bed.  Sometimes Manu wins as Chamois (did I mention she was stubborn) decides that she won't come in at your request, but would prefer to wait until you are once again comfortable on the lounge, snuggled into the pillows watching your favourite show.  Manu will promptly fall into a noisy snore-fest, looking comfortable and serene, eyes rolled back into his head and excess skin pooling around his neck.  Chamois will walk in, look at him, well, stare at him, until he slowly opens one eye.  He can feel that dog staring, using her will to wake him up and get him to move.  Sometimes 'the look' is enough (she's a girl, she has known how to do 'the look' from birth), and Manu gets up with a sigh to relocate to the other bed - which is exactly the same to my eye, but what do I know. 

If this tried and true method doesn't work, she ramps it up a bit and sticks a paw on him.  Not in an aggressive way, just to let him know that she's there.  Much like Freddy Krueger pops out of the ceiling to let you know he's there.  Once in awhile, Manu will dig in and pretend to ignore her.  This will prompt Chamois to be a little less subtle and plonk her derriere next to him on the bed, and just slowly, slowly nudge over until she has left him with little room.  I can attest to the efficacy of this manoeuvre - she uses this on us too if she is up on the bed during a thunderstorm (yeah, she's not so tough).  Again, Manu will get up with a sigh and move to the other bed.  He may be moved again later too, depending on Chamois' mood.


Sometimes there is another factor in the bed equation, and that's the cat.  Clawde loves the dog beds too, even though he is a fraction of their size, he likes to fill as much space as possible.  I'd just like to point out that no one dares to move Clawde off a bed.  Manu will always be the one without, as Chamois will take the other bed, and Manu will lie on the floor with his sad eyes, looking between the cat and us, as if to say 'Hey, can you please fix this for me.  Please?'


Battle lost

We are currently dog-sitting Mabel, so now there are 3 dogs competing.  Manu almost always ends up on the small bed because Mabel is female too, and well, you know....



Technically, sleeping on human, not on lounge



Unfortunately, Mabel has become accustomed to sleeping on the furniture at my house, which in turn has made Chamois decide that this is a great idea (which has been reinforced by another dog that we dog-sit), much to the detriment of my lounges.  I try and resolve this by creating an impenetrable barricade of kitchen stools, etc, piled onto the lounge, but she sometimes still manages to find a way.  I've given up trying to cure Mabel of this habit, and now give in and put an old blanket on the ottoman, which she scrunches up to create a nest anyway.  Sigh...

Sweet!

Of course, the cats are not immune to this type of behaviour (they are assholes after all, it's in their DNA), and Purrkins will often jump on Clawde and bite him if he wants to be where Clawde is.  It does depend on moods though, as I will see them curled up together like the Yin Yang symbol, sweet as can be.  They do actually love each other very much and are quite bonded.

Yin Yang, sort of

And last, but not least, the humans.  It's not unusual for me to walk in to the living room and see Shawn in a contorted position on the lounge, not in his usual spot, trying to play X-Box.  Beside him is a cat, curled up into a tiny ball but somehow taking up more space than Kim Kardashian's butt.  Shawn just gives me a pained look, knowing that his place in the pecking order has once again been reinforced.

For all of the antics and the constant battles, I know that we could have 20 dog beds and 571 places for the cats to sleep and this behaviour would still continue.  As long as I have my place, and Purrkins and Clawde continue to view my lap as one of their favourite spots to sleep and snuggle (or on my face in Purrkins' case), then I'm pretty happy. 

 

I think Clawde is happy too.  I wish I could
relax that much.