Friday Follies - Straight to the Moon!

I was driving to work this week when I heard about Elon Musk's latest endeavour - sending one of his cars, complete with spaceman mannequin, into space. Not only is it in space, they say it can possibly be orbiting between Earth and Mars for thousands of years. It's true!  In fact, they estimate that if all goes well and it doesn't blow up first, it could be in space for several hundred million years.  Unfortunately, it has not gone quite as planned. It overshot its trajectory and may last less than a year due to asteroids and radiation.  Still....good effort!!

Lift off!

Personally,I think someone has WAY too much disposable income, but hey, no one can say that he doesn't dream big....or creatively!  And he has facilitated a lot of scientific advances.

As I drove like on auto-pilot, my mind wandered when I heard this story.  And it wandered to a placed that wondered.  And it wondered, "What would I like to send into space for several hundred million years."

Here is my small, but not complete list. (Disclaimer - this list does not include obvious things like pestilence and poverty, abusers and killers.  Those things are no-brainers.)

Artists rendition of my thighs

1  My thighs.  Let's be honest - they aren't great.  They never were.  My family genetics destined it to be so.  They are sturdy and keep my bum off the ground, as Grandma used to say, but they ain't pretty.  They wobble where they shouldn't, and although dimples are cute on little cherubs of babies, they aren't cute on my lower appendages.  I would like to send those jiggly suckers up into space.  Let's not think this through too much though, because if I got rid of them, I'd have to walk on my bum, which would mean that my nose would be at everyone's bum height.  No thank you.

My acquaintances

2  Peri-menopause.  It can fly off into space.  Good riddance, I say.  And take your hot flashes, sleeplessness, anxiety and mood changes with you.  As for what you are doing to my body, see point #1.

Pardon the language

3  Slow walkers in the grocery store.  Hello people, the point is to get in and get out, not stand in the middle of the aisles with your trolley having a conversation with someone in person or on your phone.  Move over, get out of the way and let me by.  I try and be polite and stand there patiently, hoping you will see me, then I utter a quiet 'excuse me', hoping that you will acknowledge that you make a better wall than a door.  Please don't look annoyed when I finally start pushing past with a more firm 'Excuse Me' escaping my lips.  See point #2 for my tolerance levels.

It's them

4  Loud Chewers, Pen Clickers and Finger Tappers.  All of you are firing up my misophonia and I don't like it.

It's so much nicer than the one-finger wave.

5  People who don't wave a 'thank you' when you let them in while driving.  I was just doing something nice and courteous.  Don't be so rude.  People who don't say 'thank you' when you hold a door open for you are in the same category.

6  One-Uppers.  Those people that can take any subject that you, your friend or your work colleague is talking about and 'one-up' it.  They have done everything first, or better, or more often, or crazier.  Even if they haven't done something, they find a way to turn it around to them.  Well guess what, if you go off into space on Elon Musk's rocket and orbit for several hundred million years, you can one-up everyone on Planet Earth. 

7  Complainers.  They are in the same box as the one-uppers as far as I'm concerned.  Always complaining and moaning about something.  Positivity does not come naturally to them and they drag everyone else down with their constant negative comments and judgements.  Life isn't that bad or horrible, I'm not sure how moaning about everything makes you feel better.  Complain about the never-ending journey of your orbit in space please.

8  My need to have things in even or logical numbers.  It will kill me to not have a list of 10 things, so I'm going to put 8.  Who on earth writes a 'Top 8' list.  Well, I do.  It is killing me though. When this goes up into space, it better make an even number of orbits or be able to be divided by 5.

Clearly, we will need a very big spaceship to put all of these things into space.  They will at least be in interesting company - click here to see some truly strange things that have been sent into space.

None of this matters though because nothing can be cooler than a red, sporty car with a spaceman actually rocketing through space.

It is actually really cool

Love at First Bite - My Badges of Honour

I've had my share of animal bites and have the scars to prove it.  Some have been my fault, others not, and the rest lie somewhere in between.

Not counting the little snaps or nibbles that I received as a child from our various dogs, cats, rabbits, guinea pigs and hamsters, I definitely got the most bites just after high school when I worked as a vet nurse for a few years.

It was fun - hard work and emotional but it provided a great learning curve.  I learned a lot about animal behaviour and learned how to read body language better.  Not that it always helps at a vet, it's such a stressful place for animals, and even worse when they are in pain.  I never got angry at a dog or cat for biting me - obviously I should have done my job better and done more to protect both of us.

I recall a really gorgeous cat that was admitted to get some sort of routine surgery.  I happily took her from her owner's arms and walked her to the back kennel area, listening to her purr and be quite a sociable creature.  The minute we turned the corner into the room, a large dog let out a massive 'woof'!  Well, that did it, the poor cat reacted - quite rightfully - by jumping from my loose grip and clamping down with all of her might on the fleshy bit between my thumb and my first finger.  And she did not want to let go.  Eventually I calmed her down enough to let go, held her properly and popped her into her cage.  She was fine after having the fright of her life.  My hand wasn't fine.  Anyone that has been bitten by a cat knows that it's more of a puncture wound, bleeding little from a deep hole. I can't remember, but I'm pretty sure that one got infected.

The Learning Curve

I've had other cats lash out with their claws and manage to just hit a vein, causing a massive haematoma on the back of my hand.  One such injury was bestowed upon me by one of my previous cats, Purrcie, who had expressed his anal glands all over himself.  I tried to put him in the sink and wash it off - he wasn't happy.  My  hand paid the price.  But I got him washed in the end, literally.

Some of my more interesting animal injuries have been from exotic animals.  After volunteering for over 6 years in Canada and about the same in Australia, I've been exposed to a lot of really amazing and cool animals.  My very first day volunteering in Canada led to my first monkey bite, inflicted by a very cranky capuchin.  I had run out of the meal worms that I was feeding her and she was displeased.  A quick pinch-bite to my forearm, and we were off to the office to fill out paperwork and assure everyone that a bite wasn't that big a deal.  In fact, she didn't even puncture the skin, but gave such a good pinch that the bruise spread to almost the whole length of my inner forearm and developed into a rainbow of colours.  Knowing capuchins better now than I did then, it doesn't surprise me - they aren't to be trusted.

Do. Not. Trust.  But how cute is he?!

The good thing about volunteering at a zoo is that there is no direct contact with any animal that is really dangerous, so I was never worried about getting badly injured.  I worked with great keepers who always had my safety in mind - perhaps not my dignity, but definitely my safety.

Not bitten by one of these so far!

I recall one keeper, who shall remain unnamed but knows who he is, literally rolling on the ground in the middle of the crowded zoo, laughing hysterically at me.  We had been in cleaning the guanaco exhibit (related to llamas and alpacas), and I had been playing with the baby, who was gorgeous and loved attention.  Those big brown eyes, those eyelashes - oh, be still my heart. Mum guanaco also had a nice nature and was partial to a bit of a scratch.  As we had finished cleaning, I was hopping over the wooden fence to carry on with my day.  Mum came up to me, and I probably got my face a bit too close as I went in for one last scratch.  For those that know llamas and alpacas, you can guess what happened next.  A really big, slimy, gritty, juicy mouthful of guanaco spit landed solidly in the middle of my face.  Oh Lord, the smell!  It certainly entertained all of the families that were drawn to our new baby, and it CERTAINLY entertained the keeper that I worked with.  He ran faster than I've ever seen him run up to the lunchroom to tell everyone what had happened to me.  I'd like to think that my ripe aroma was enrichment for all of the other animals that I worked with that day.  My cats were certainly intrigued when I got home.

Cute baby guanaco

 

Guanaco spit - not cute.

I have also seen a very lovely meerkat that was very friendly and sociable with the keepers (she couldn't be with the other meerkats because they attacked her) latch onto a young someone's nose and pierce it for him.  Fortunately all of us animal people never get cranky about a bit unless it's due to someone else's negligence.

Hey, look at me!

One of my very favourite types of monkeys are marmosets.  They are personable, fun, crazy and reasonably easy to look after - as far as primates go.  Their curiosity knows no bounds, which makes it easy to enrich their exhibits or keep them entertained.  They are like cats or kids though - when they get a bit too over-excited, you need to watch out!  They have tiny little mouths but sharp little teeth and can give you a nice little bite.  I've had some little 'hickeys' on my neck from them, plus a few scratches on my face where they swipe at you when they are wound up.  If they are playful, they don't do much damage, but I've seen them angry when they are being caught for medical treatment or to move to a new exhibit, and they can be fierce.

Look closer.

Even my chickens have a crack when they're broody.  Sticking a hand under a broody chicken to check for an egg can be enough to increase my heart rate, and they have managed to draw blood on my hand before.  I think broody chickens are like women with PMS.  Respect them and be wary.  And, please, leave them in peace!

As I get older, I can't see the number of bites that I get decreasing unless I was totally pet-less, like that's every going to happen!  Purrkins manages to get me at least once a week during one of our many play sessions, and has a jaw like a vice. I do a small celebratory dance any week that I manage to change the sheets on the bed and escape dotting them with blood.

Beware of cat.

I wear all of my scars as badges of honour.  They only exist because I have been truly blessed by the animals that I have shared my life with - not that they have bitten or scratched me, but that I have interacted with them in some way.  I  have been fortunate to have been raised in a family that treasures animals (and are addicted to them a little bit, I think!) and to marry a man that not only tolerates my love of animals, but embraces it as well.  I have been doubly blessed by the two zoos that I have volunteered at, and the wonderful keepers that allowed me to interact and learn, while still picking up mountains of poo.  Lots and lots of poo.  My raking and hosing skills would be nothing without them, nor would my memories be as treasured.


This pygmy marmoset may look evil, but he's shy.

I'm too chilled to bite.

Friday Follies - You Don't Send Me Flowers

Last week the sad news was announced that Neil Diamond has Parkinson's Disease.  Oddly enough, we were listening to some old Neil songs that weekend, enhance by my melodious rendition of 'Sweet Caroline'.  'Enhanced' may be generous, but what I lack in talent, I make up for in volume.  Enhanced volume.

One Neil Diamond song that I always remember from my childhood is the duet with Barbra Streisand, "You Don't Bring Me Flowers".  Why do I remember it so well, you ask?  Well, that was the song that my Mum used to blast on repeat when she was mad at my Dad - for example if he was late home after work (and not for work reasons!).  The music got louder and louder as time went on, and true to our family tradition, what she lacked in talent she made up for in volume. See, I come by it honestly.  I think it's genetic.

A classic

Another tactic that Mum used to take when Dad was late for dinner was to slightly adjust the food as time went by.  She didn't do anything really nasty, like spitting in it (as far as I know!), but she did, very deliberately, add a bit more chilli powder or cayenne pepper as the hours ticked by.  If the first mouthful of dinner exploded my father's head, he knew that he was in it, and deep.  Of course, the loud velvety voices of Neil and Barbra should have tipped him off when he walked in the door.  No one said that men are quick at picking up on subtleties.

 

Whoops, sorry honey!

I had regaled Shawn with these stories from my parents' marriage (as well as the good ones - I'm equal opportunity) when we first started dating.  They must have sunk in, because if I happen to make dinner a bit too spicy by accident, Shawn asks what he's done and why I'm mad at him.  Silly man, I wouldn't use the same tactics as my mother - women are more devious than that.  And the first rule of being a husband is that you've always done something wrong.  You just don't know about it yet.

And no, I won't reveal my secrets.  They are secrets for a reason.

We plan, and we keep our secrets.

All couples fight, argue, disagree and want to kill each other at various (and sometimes frequent)points in their relationship.  You need to have conflict to grow, it is more important how you fight and how you resolve things than the fact that you fight.  And accept that maybe sometimes you are the one in the wrong.  As with any couple, we've grown a lot over time and have learned better ways to manage our disagreements.....usually.  Sometimes we are both still petulant teenagers, feeling wronged by the world and self-righteously believing that we are not part of the problem in any way.

The thing that really, really gets up my nose is the way that Shawn has learned to 'manage' me.  I don't mean this in a bad way.  But when I have steam coming out of my ears and a throat-punch is imminent, the bugger makes me laugh.  Geez, thanks for diffusing the situation, I was enjoying my anger. How annoying.



Fortunately I have learned how to 'manage' him as well.  I always know when he's lying (which is usually about camping or 4WD purchases...not really anything very juicy) and when he's trying to pull the wool over my eyes.  That really annoys him as I call him out before he knows it.  It's all in the eyes, you see.

What?
I'm telling you the truth, I haven't been to the camping store.

So while Sweet Caroline doesn't Send Me Flowers, I will be Forever in Blue Jeans, watching Cracklin' Rosie be a Kentucky Woman while singing Song Sung Blue on a Hot August Night - it's all a Groovy Kind of Love with Mr. Bojangles.

The legend.

Clawde - The Social Cat-terfly

Most people wouldn't describe cats as being social butterflies or creatures that seem to care about others - either cats, dogs, humans or anything in between.  Previous cats in my life certainly haven't been terribly social with people or animals that they don't know, and sometimes not even with those that they do know.

Nip was a one-person cat, and she chose to make herself scarce when other people were around. She did love her brother, Tuck, although they had a typical brother-sister relationship, and would go from grooming to fighting in the blink of an eye.  She learned to tolerate guinea pigs, cockatiels, dogs, and especially Shawn. Sometimes she would bestow her attentions upon him, but more often than not he was greeted with an icy f-you stare as he dared enter her general space.  She was an anomaly though, and most other family cats have been affectionate, but still cautious.

Nip - letting you know exactly what she thinks of you.

And then we got Clawde.  Clawde LOVES his family, and yes, that needs to be in capitals because he really does love everyone in his social sphere.  The dogs are always greeted with head boops and a groom and ear clean with a rough tongue.  He doesn't just walk over to them if he decides he's missed them, he trots over to give his affections, often much to the confusion of the dog, who has just walked into the house.

Clawde knows he's pretty special

Clawde loves Purrkins too.  When we first brought Purrkins home, Clawde could not wait to groom his soft grey fur.  Purrkins was younger and much preferred to have a wrestle, but he submitted to Clawde's affection and seemed to enjoy it.  Clawde would then expect reciprocal grooming and quietly bow his head in front of Purrkins, waiting for his turn.  Purrkins is more a taker than a giver, and usually decides after about two token licks that a body tackle is more appropriate.  Clawde tends to go flying across the room with Purrkins' paws wrapped around him and his teeth sunk into his neck.  Not one to give up, Clawde rights himself and attempts to groom Purrkins once again.  And so it has gone on for years.  Purrkins has increased his groom time from those early days, but he still loves a good wrestle.  You can just see the frustration on Clawde's face as he waits for his fair share.

Best buddies - what Clawde wants to do.

What Purrkins would prefer to be doing.

Clawde's love extends to the humans too.  He is a very affectionate cat, not necessarily always on your lap (except in winter when he soaks up the warmth), but usually in the same room as you, and he always has a soft chirp and a slow blink when you walk by him.  He likes to maintain an aura of aloofness, but in fact, he's a big sook.

He loves his people.

If we have company over, or anyone visits the house, he either goes to check them out outside, or comes into the room to see what's going on.  He has to be in the centre of it.  A seat at or under the table during a dinner party is a requirement (not to mention everyone thinks he is 'so cute' that he often gets little nibbles gifted to him - his favourite being salt and vinegar chips).  That cat knows how to play the game and exploit our weak spots.

We also have to be careful if we have tradies around to do work on the house.  Clawde is famous for jumping into their ute or van, thoroughly inspecting their tools and supplies.  We always ask them to check their vehicle before they leave because one day he will probably end up locked in the vehicle and departing on an adventure.

Even in his humiliation, he has to hang out.

The various dogs that we pet sit aren't immune from the attentions either.  It's probably a bit unsettling for those that aren't raised around cats, but if you need to socialise your dog to a cat, Clawde is the best option.  He likes to let them know he's boss with a steely stare and a puffed stance, and then once they submit, he rubs his scent onto them with a gentle head boop and sweep of the tail.  needless to say, this can be very confusing to a dog, but they soon are fascinated.  Our current boarder, Benson the Labrador, is enamoured of him, and spends most of his time staring at him while wagging his tail, crying when he gets ignored and checking out Clawde's bottom with his nose.  I'm not sure what confuses him more -  when Clawde ignores him or Clawde goes for the rub and the groom.  Whatever, it keeps them both entertained.

Clawde having a whisper to Chamois

I've never had a cat quite as social as Clawde, and maybe never will again.  I'm sure his mission on earth is to love everyone and welcome them into his home.  And that is definitely his home and family, not ours.  I like to think that, as a rescue cat, he is forever grateful for his good fortune, and wishes to pass the good karma along.

Manu not quite convinced of Clawde's love.

Friday Follies - 10 Reasons We Love Australa on Australia Day

Happy Australia Day!
Looking past the debate over the date and all of the cultural issues, let's just celebrate Australia in all of it's glory.  Here are some of the reasons why Australia is great and should be celebrated, not just on 26 January, but every day.

1.  The Beaches
Honestly, Australia has some of the best beaches in the world and I've only seen a few of them, relatively speaking.  White sparkling sand going as far as the eye can see, quaint bays surrounded by imposing cliffs, gentle waves undulating in water that goes from turquoise to the deepest violet - we really are spoiled.  When I lived in Canada, all I ever wanted to do when I went overseas was to go somewhere with beaches.  Now that I live in this blessed country, beaches are not my overseas holiday priority because I have amazing ones right on my doorstep.

75 Mile Beach, Fraser Island - one of my favourite spots

2.  The Weather
People always think that Australia is warm and sunny all the time.  In fact, the weather across this vast country is more varied than people overseas realise.  We get snow, we get hurricanes, we get blistering heat, we get cold (okay, definitely not as cold as Canada or anywhere near it, I'll admit that), we have dry air, we have humid air, we have it all.  It can feel like you have travelled to a completely different country when you travel domestically, nothing beats the variety.

Weather Diversity

3.  The Wildlife
Australia is home to some of the most unique wildlife in the world.  Whoever thought up the platypus must have been enjoying some pharmaceuticals, I think.  You don't have to go far to see the wildlife either.  Wallabies and kangaroos are often spotted in suburban areas, and the most beautiful birds are at your back door.

What are you looking at?

 

Rainbow Lorikeets 
We see this in our yard every day.

4.  The Scenery
Like the weather, Australia has some of the most diverse scenery in the world.  From gorgeous ocean vistas to sweeping, endless views of red sand dunes, stretching to the horizon.  Uluru rises out of the desert, the monolith commanding attention from every angle.  Rainforests in the north are lush and flowing with water during the rainy season.  The Outback is either very dry in drought, or extremely wet during the rare rains, with plants and flowers greedily raising to the sun from the rare treat of water.  You can drive two hours in any direction and the scenery will change.  It's fascinating and hypnotising.

Uluru - nothing compares

5.  The Great Barrier Reef
It is one of the Seven Wonders of the World.  It's accessibility makes it a tourist staple, and whether you dive, snorkel or view it from a glass bottom boat, there is always something to see and be amazed by.

Magnificent!

6.  The Food and Drink
Politics aside, the Australia of today was built on the back of immigrants.  Their desire to leave their homes and build a better life has made the country what it is today.  They brought their traditional food and drinks with them, and we are richer for it.  You can get any kind of food that you want, and of course our beer and wine industries are booming (I like to help the economy in that respect).  You can't go wrong with an Aussie wine or beer (and our beer is 100X better than that American stuff).

Mmmmm, two of my favourite things

 

Just a very, very small sample of beer available

7.  World Class Cities
I don't think that you can fly into Sydney and not have your breathe taken away.  The Harbour Bridge and Opera House shine like jewels in the harbour, with sailing boats and yachts dotting the bays.  Flying into Sydney is one of my favourite things and an iconic view.  Melbourne rivals any major city in the world, Brisbane is a big city with a country heart, Perth and Adelaide enjoy almost a boutique feel, Hobart has a great historic vibe and Darwin is a unique mix of cultures sweating it out in the tropical heat.  Our nation's capital, Canberra, was purpose built as the centre of government.  Apart from the big cities, the country is littered with quaint small towns with big hearts.

Iconic Sydney

8.  Big Things
No other country has embraced 'big things' more than Australia.  We have the Big Prawn, the Big Banana, the Big Pineapple, the Big Guitar, the Big Sheep, the Big Gumboot...the list goes on.  The make 'em big in Australia!  Apparently my butt is starting to follow in the great Aussie tradition....partially due to #6.

Big Banana

 

Big Prawn

 

Big Gumboot

9.  The Language
The Aussie twang is recognised around the world, and the slang is colourful and sometimes undecipherable to outsiders. 

10.  The People
Anywhere you go, the place is only as good as the people.  A friendly smile and a G'day are common.  Sure, we have nasty people here - bludgers, criminals and the ever-present asses, but overall, Aussies are good people, willing to lend a hand, give it a go and embrace you.

Have a wonderful Australia Day, whatever you are doing.  I will be on the beach enjoying the sun, sand and surf, and maybe a sneaky beer!