If My Dogs Had Dating Profiles

Chamois (aka Shammy Shoo-Shoo)



Glamour Shot

I'm 7 years young, and while I've been described as big boned, I have a tall, athletic build.  My unconventional looks and a freckled complexion are nothing compared to my bright brown eyes and attentive ears.

Some know me for my stubbornness, but I know what I want and I deserve to get it.  No one ever succeeded by not going for what they want, and I'd like to think I am quite successful. If it's a night on the bed, the favourite squeaky toy or a spot next to my dad, I get it.  I live in a nice home with a big yard and guard it fiercely.

I am used to being a kept woman, and expect no less no matter where I am.  I am looking for a man that can handle my size and attitude and love me for it.  I enjoy a laugh as much as a cuddle, and have been told that I am a great spooner.  While I am strong-willed, I still have a tender side and will need your strength and reassurance during storms and other loud noises.  I still feel vulnerable sometimes.

Don't contact me if you are small and fluffy, I have no use for such creatures.  I don't even mind if you are shorter, like a Staffy, but please be assertive and confident, and remember, if you attack me, I get defensive.  I don't want to be that way, but past experiences have stayed with me.  However, my loyalty is assured if you treat me right.


Sometimes I like more intellectual pursuits...no, really!


If you want to treat me to a meal, I'm not terribly food oriented, but I do love to hunt the odd pigeon and enjoy the snack.  According to those nearest to me, my rat hunting skills are legendary, but you won't find me eating them.  A girl has to have her standards.

I get along with almost everyone, so if you have a cat or chickens, no need to worry.  In fact, two of my best friends are cats, so no discrimination here.  Some feline attention often helps if I am anxious.

I love children to pieces.  I can't have any of my own, but I would love to play with yours.  The only thing I like better than kids is myself.  And going to bed early....that's pretty good too.

If I sound like someone you would be interested in, don't delay, I'm not getting any younger.

 

Manu (aka Man-Poo / Manuel)

Please love me....

I'm in my golden years (golden in looks, golden in nature) and am looking for a loyal companion.  If you like a large, stocky man who still has plenty of fur, look no further.  My big brown eyes will implore you to love me - I've been told you can drown in them, and when I trust you, I will stare into your eyes all day.  As happens with age, I do have some saggy skin, but it's soft and velvety, and I love having it touched.

I take awhile to get to know people as I have been treated badly in the past, but once I know you, you will never find anyone more loyal.  All I have ever wanted is to be loved and to be next to someone who loves me.  I have some abandonment issues, so you need to be kind and understanding.

I am looking for someone of any size and any looks, but if you are nasty and mean, keep looking.  I need someone with strength and confidence to be courageous when I am not.

I love kids, cats and chickens.  Magpies sometimes upset me because they steal my food.  I am not athletic, but am given to short bursts of craziness, just don't ask me to jump any hurdles.  My preferred position is curled up next to you on the floor.  Belly rubs are definitely a favourite. 

One of my favourite past times is camping with family and friends, and I love nothing better than sitting around the campfire being fed left over sausages.

 

Camping!!

I'm not a fancy dog, and don't have expensive tastes - sometimes my palate is more on the fecal end of the spectrum rather than the caviar end.  But I'll eat pretty much anything you put in front of me, I'm not fussy like that.

If you are looking for someone who is loyal, loving and always by your side, look no further, you will find no one better than me.  I can't wait to meet up and sniff bottoms.

I AM a good boy!