Benefits of a Cat - The 'Catvantage' of Feline Ownership

What if....?

The benefits of having a pet in your life are well documented and researched.  Not only are they your friend through thick and thin, giving the sort of unconditional love that is like no other, but their presence also has physical and mental health benefits.

A number of studies have shown that having a pet in your child's life will lower the likelihood of allergies, some say by as much as 33%.  It must be all that food sharing, face licking and cuddles.  Sharing your life with pets also increases your overall immunity.

Sharing is caring

Emotionally, having a pet can decrease stress and anxiety, and physically they reduce blood pressure and decrease the risk of heart attack.  An interesting study conducted by the CDC found that people that own pets (men in particular) have significantly lower cholesterol and triglyceride levels.  Owning a cat can reduce your risk of heart attack and stroke by 30-40%.  Unless they are actively plotting your death and you are aware of it.  This can add stress to your life, but we aren't focussing on that right now as it doesn't serve my purpose. 

I hope and pray that Purrkins never buys this book.

If you own a dog and have a heart attack, you are also significantly more likely to be alive a year later.  Interesting, isn't it?  I attribute this to the fact that dogs aren't the best at providing their own food, so deep down you know that they really need you for sustenance, unlike cats.  Or you realise that if you drop dead at home, the dog will eat your face.

Pets have also been known to change their behaviour if their owner's are diabetic and their blood sugar levels drop and some pets can sense the onset of a seizure or other unpleasant medical incidents.

Childhood development also sees great benefits from pets.  Pets of any type will help with mental and emotional development, teach children to be respectful and responsible, and of course pets are a great support throughout a child's life.  I, personally, know that my pets have brought be back from the brink too many times to count.  Again, in the case of dogs, they need food, in the case of cats, if I leave them too soon, they will lose out on all of that plotting fun.

Those of us who share our lives with cats know that there is a very special set of benefits that go hand in hand with cat ownership (or human ownership....I can never really figure out who owns who!).

You are never alone.  True - a lot of cats appear to be loners and you don't always see them, but walk into the kitchen or step into the bathroom, and there they are, ready to assist and/or supervise with whatever task is at hand (especially if it involves food).  You might think that you are by yourself, and out of nowhere comes a streak of ginger/grey/tabby, aiming for your leg at top speed, scaring the bejesus out of you.  They probably think that they are doing us a favour, restarting our hearts, you know, just in case it stopped or something.  It also keeps your reflexes in good working order as you dodge the knife-like appendages, trying not to trip over yourself or the cat.

They teach you humility.  Because I believe cats think we are stupid, they do this in a plethora of ways, making sure that the lesson is hammered home....repeatedly.  So you want nice things?  Nope!  The cat will quickly claim the object/furniture/item as their own, laying on it, grooming themselves on it, dropping fur on it, clawing at it, and scent marking it.  You need to learn early on that what's yours is the cats, and there is no negotiation.  You can't negotiate with an asshole.

You can also never get too sure of yourself when a cat is around.  Cats will only cuddle if THEY want to, and don't work on your schedule or your needs (that having been said, they have an uncanny ability to know if you are down in the dumps or sick, and will make an 'affection exception' at these times).  You want a longer cuddle.  No!  Off jumps the cat, to sit just out of your reach, nonchalantly grooming itself, gracing you a confident glance mixed with a look of disdain.  'Get over yourself human' is the clear message there.

They are the boss, not you.  Have you ever tried to make your cat do something?  It never goes well, and usually after refusal, the cat will do it in it's own time anyway, just to make sure you know that it can do what it wants, when it wants.  After all, you can't be the boss if you are the slave.  Opening doors, not opening doors, feeding, belly scratches, sleeping in your spot on the couch...it's all done to keep us humble.  Oh yeah, they also need to let us know that we are terrible hunters, and as such, they must provide for us.  The fact that we don't appreciate this as much as they would like is probably a constant thorn in their sides, but, being cats, they don't care about that really either.

Cats also teach us that we should remember that we only have one life, and we should enjoy that life.  Cats enjoy their naps, looking relaxed and comfortable, not a worry in the world.  They don't lie there worrying about what is going to happen tomorrow or even in 10 minutes, getting anxious because they can't fall asleep.  They are tired, they sleep, and if they are hungry, they eat.  If they are dirty, they groom, if they need some attention, they demand it.  And best of all, no matter what their age, if they feel like running through the house chasing ghosts and spectres and generally acting like a fruit loop, they do, and be damned whoever should judge them.  It feels good and they like it, they do it. No worries about what they look like (Purrkins is a proud fatty and lets it all hang out, Clawde doesn't worry about the bald spot that he gained after a particularly nasty meeting with a brown snake) or what anyone thinks of them.  If Purrkins does something undignified (like falling out a tree when he is showing off) he just picks himself back up and looks at us as if to say 'What? Nothing to see here. Move along".

In winter they warm you with their body heat and cuddles - of course, they aren't doing it for your benefit - they are sucking up your body heat like the leeches that they are, abandoning you at will.

My cats make me laugh every day.  Every. Single. Day. I'm not exaggerating, they are that funny.  They can make me laugh through their crazy antics when it looks like they have lost all control of their faculties and race around like they have a firecracker up their bum.  They make me laugh by just hanging out, relaxing with a good stretch and falling off the furniture, or the silly looks they give me throughout the day.  The physical and emotional benefits of laughter are common knowledge and for that alone, you can't go past the entertainment of a cat.  Preferably more than one.

Please don't laugh at me.  I will kill you.

There is one last benefit of having cats that is my very favourite. Not only is it my favourite sound, but purring actually has physical health benefits.

According to several studies, the frequency (20-140 Hz - which is considered medically therapeutic) of a cat purr is actually the ideal vibration level for low blood pressure, a healthy heart and even bone growth.  It's been shown to help you when you have difficulty breathing as the purr mimics peaceful in and out breathing.  Unless you're allergic, then they really don't help your breathing at all.

The more I share my life with cats and the more I understand them (although who every really understands a cat), the more that I know that I can never, ever live without them. Until the day I die, I don't want to be without a feline friend or two in my life.

Friday Follies - Part 2 - Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi!

My apologies for not posting a blog on Tuesday - I was busy having fun with some family that was in town.
Now, back to some great Aussie sayings....


Don't get them mixed up

Blokes and Sheilas

Blokes are men and Sheilas are women.  Bloke has been in use since1829, but Sheila comes from an Irish word meaning girlfriend, and didn't come into use until around 1914 in Australia.

Crikey

This word expresses surprise or astonishment.  Made famous by Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter.

Not made from dog's eye...or is it?

Dogs Eye

Believe it or not, this means a meat pie.  It derives from the Cockney rhyming slang that was in use when the convicts came to Australia.

Fair Go

To have a fair go means that you have a reasonable chance or a fair deal.  Everyone is entitled to a fair go - we all should be given the same chance.  Another variation is 'Fair shake of the sauce bottle' meaning that you want to be given the same chance as everyone else.

Flat Out Like A Lizard Drinking

A particular favourite of mine - I don't use it, but I like it as it gives you a good visual when someone says it.  As you would expect, it means that you are going flat out or at top speed.

Larry.  He's happy.

Happy As Larry

I'm not sure who Larry is, but he's happy and it means that you are happy too!  The origins of this phrase are unknown, but it was first recorded in Australia in the 1880's, but there is some evidence that it has Irish or Scottish origins.

Give the hard word....okay, there are no memes

Hard Word

Okay, I misunderstood this one when I heard it.  I thought it meant to come down hard on someone, be stern with them.  Apparently not - it usually means to make demands on someone sexually, but it can refer to monetary demands as well.  Yes, I misused it and yes, people laughed.

Mad As a Cut Snake

If you are mad as a cut snake, you are very eccentric / crazy or very angry.  As in, 'I was happy as Larry until Johnno tried to put the hard word on me, then I was as mad as a cut snake."  The phrase was first recorded in the early 1900's, and a similar phrase is mad as a gumtree full of galahs.  Personally, I like that one better because galahs make me smile as they waddle around with their pink a grey plumage, pecking at tasty morsels in the grass.  But I digress...

It's been awhile since I've referenced Star Trek

Like a Stunned Mullet

Aside from the hairstyle (although I have seen some 'stunning' mullets!), this phrase means that you are dazed, stupefied, unconscious or shocked. 

No Worries

Almost the minute that you arrive in Australia, this saying rings in your ears.  If someone says that to you, it means that all is good, that it is no trouble at all or everything will be alright.  This was first recorded in the 1960's.

Even roos can be ocker

Ocker or Yobbo

To be ocker or a yobbo means that you are an uncouth, uncultivated or an aggressively boorish Australian male or just a typical average Australian male.

To Get the Rough End of the Pineapple

This means that you got a raw deal or received unfair treatment. 

This one looks quite calm

To Carry On Like a Pork Chop

This is a pretty common phrase that you hear a lot. It means to carry on, rant, to have a tantrum.  It is meant to allude to the sound of a pork chop sizzling in the pan.

You Right?

This is also very common, and often heard in a shop - as in 'Are you all right?', as in 'Do you need help or assistance?'.

Sanger

This one had me stumped for a long time.  It is a slang word for sandwich.  Don't ask me.....

Snag

Again, a slang word for sausage.  You can actually have a snag sanger if you are interested.

I Didn't Come Down in the Last Shower

This means that you aren't stupid, no one is going to pull the wool over your eyes.  The first evidence of this phrase was in Australia in 1883.

Even koalas do it

Sickie - To Chuck a Sickie

A 'sickie' is a sick day off work, usually without any medical reason.  To 'chuck a sickie' means that you are going to take a day off work 'sick', even though you most likely are not ill.

Spit the Dummy

In Australia, a soother is called a dummy, so if you spit the dummy, you have a tantrum or a cry.

An Australian Classic

Straight to the Poolroom

If you haven't seen it, please see the 1997 movie 'The Castle'.  It is absolutely full of Australian sayings, slang and culture.  This phrase comes directly from the movie, when the main character, Darryl, is given something really special and he wants it to go straight to the poolroom for display and for everyone to see.

To Have Tickets on Yourself

People that have tickets on themselves are usually conceited or have an inflated sense of ego.  The phrase first became popular during the First World War and had increased usage in the 1920's and 1930's.


On the Turps

This comes from a shortening of the word 'turpentine' and it alludes to the use of turpentine or methylated spirits by down-and-out alcoholics.  Originally used to refer to someone drinking gin or rum, it is now used for all alcoholic beverages.  A similar phrase for being drunk is having a 'gutful of piss' (piss being a slang word for alcohol).  If you can't handle very much alcohol, you are a 'two pot screamer' - a pot is a measurement of draft beer and is half the size of a pint of beer.


General Insults

Aussies have a very creative use of language, and this shines bright when they are insulting someone.  Some examples of creative insults are:

• A few (kanga)roos loose in the top paddock. (a bit daft, not all there in the head)
• Couldn't find a grand piano in a one roomed house.
• Couldn't blow the froth off a glass of beer.
• A (lamb or pork) chop short of a barbie (barbecue).
• Useless as ashtray on a motorbikes

Friday Follies - Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi!

After such a positive reaction to my last blog about the 'Aussie' language, I need to revisit this subject.  This is Part 1 of some iconic Aussie words and sayings.

I can hear you cheering Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi! 
For those that aren't familiar with that chant, pay close attention at the next Commonwealth Games or Olympics, or any sporting event for that matter, where Australia is competing.  The cheer is usually accompanied by waving of the flag, the donning of green and yellow apparel, blow up kangaroos and fistfuls of beer.

There are quite a few other Australian sayings and phrases that can be baffling if you are new to the country.  I've listed a few below (but trust me, there are many, many more!).

You don't know whether you're Arthur or Martha

The phrase was first recorded in the 1940's, and means that you are confused - you don't know if you are coming or going.

Battler

A battler is someone who is doing it tough - 'battling' through life. Aussie's will often back the battler and cheer for the underdog.  Which brings me to...

Tall Poppy Syndrome

Australian's, while cheering for someone who is struggling or fighting an uphill battle, also like to humble someone that thinks they are better than everyone else.  People of high status (tall poppies) are often resented and cut down to size.  The phrase can be found in use in Australia as early as 1864 in reference to someone that was awarded a knighthood.

Bludger

Originally bludger was British slang for a prostitute's pimp and was found in use in Australia in the 1880's.  It was defined at that time as 'plunderers in company with prostitutes' and 'a thief who will use his bludgeon and lives on the gains of immoral women.'  Today it's meaning is still mostly the same, meaning someone that lives off the efforts of others, as in 'dole bludger' - someone who doesn't work and lives off the government.

Eric Bana played a bogan in
his early acting days

Bogan

This is a very common word here in Australia.  Bogan is meant to be slightly derogatory, but now is often used as a badge of honour.  It's basic meaning is an uncultured and unsophisticated person, someone who is uncouth.  As far as words go, bogan is a recent addition to the vocabulary of Australians and became widespread in use in the 1980's.

The good kind of budgie smugglers

Budgie Smugglers

A descriptive phrase for tight-fitting male swimwear that leaves little to the imagination (also known as dicktogs).  The term was first recorded in the 1990's and is thought to derive from the English phrase - grape smugglers.  As with most Australia words and phrases, it is often shortened to 'budgies' as in "Look at the bogan strutting about in his budgies."

Cobber

Cobber means friend or companion.  There is some debate regarding its derivation, some believe it is from the Yiddish word 'chaber' (comrade) while other believe that it originated from the British word 'cob' (to take a liking to someone).  Nevertheless, it has been in use since at least the 1890's, although is not as popular today as 'mate'.

Cooee

This was originally a call by an Aboriginal person to communicate with another person some distance away.  It derives from the Aboriginal word 'gawi' or 'guwi' and means  'come here'. Today it is still widely used as a signal in the bush.  If someone is 'within cooee' they are within earshot.

Dinkum or Fair Dinkum

If something is dinkum, it is reliable, honest and true.  Fair dinkum means fair dealing that is just and equitable.  The phrase was recorded in Lincolnshire in 1881 and first recorded in Australia in the 1890's.





Drop Bear

A native (imaginary) animal that has extremely sharp teeth.  While it resembles a koala, it loves to devour tourists after dropping onto them from trees.  Some believe that the term originated during the Second World War, but the first record of its use was in the 1980's.

Part 2 next Friday.....



There's a Mouse in the House

Some days I get a bit stressed out that I'm not going to pluck a blog subject out of the ethereal workings of my mind, and other days an idea just drops into my lap like a gift from the creative gods.  This weekend was such a time.


I prefer this type of gift



For the last few weeks, the cats have been honing their mouse hunting skills to such a degree that a 'gift' is announced nightly.  Some nights I am fortunate enough to be woken by the gifts being presented under my bed by a very proud feline.  I don't appreciate these gifts other than being thankful that the cats are keeping the mouse population down - it must be the dry weather combined with spring/breeding season, but the cats don't seem to lack for choice.

On Friday night, not only was I blessed once by my cats, but three times.  Goodness, that was a fun night, and I mean fun in the sense of trying on bathing suits at the end of a particularly indulgent winter with bright lighting and unflattering mirror angles.  Clawde and Purrkins must think that we are the worst providers on earth, continually showing us how it's done, how good they are at it, and how very much they love us.

Why are the mirrors so unflattering?

For the first incident I was woken from a very pleasant sleep to hear the slap of the cat door and the operatic notes of Clawde telling all within earshot of his great gift.  I got up, and with bleary eyes fished the small torch out of my bedside table to peek under the bed.  Once I had confirmation that there was, in fact, a small mouse in Clawde's mouth, I opened the bedroom patio door to encourage him to take it back outside.  Clawde, being the thoughtful sweetpea that he is, thought I would benefit from a game of chasing, so he ran around the house, periodically dropping the mouse and picking it up until finally I persuaded him to go out front door.  Oh, what fun we had. 

Shawn slept through the whole thing, I might add, the echo of his snores providing a backdrop to our slightly Benny Hill-esque sprint through the house.



The second incident occurred a couple of hours later, after I was lulled into a good deep sleep.  Again, a slap of the cat door, an announcement of the gift, a fumble for the torch and the opening of the door.  I am getting so much practice at this that I managed to tightly and doggedly grasp onto the last vestiges of sleep, only awake enough to ensure that I didn't step on anything that might cause a squeal and slight bladder leakage.  This time I had better success with Clawde departing the premises quickly.  I crawled back into bed and was just about asleep when I heard the distinct crunch of teeth meeting mouse.  Whoops - Clawde must have left the gift before he dashed and Purrkins found it.  I often have evidence to the contrary, but in this instance it seems that Purrkins may have been the smarter one, waiting for his late night snack delivery. 

Shawn slept through the whole thing.

The third incidence was the pièce de résistance.  You know the sequence by now, and this time it was about 5 am and I had already let the dogs out for their morning ablutions.  Clearly thinking he was The Man, Clawde brought in this delectable piece and it was clear that he was impressed with himself - so impressed that he decided to have a jolly good game with it under our bed.  As I leaned down the side of the bed to check out the situation, I spied a tiny mouse doing a combination hop/jump towards me. Eeek!  'Clawde!', I screamed, 'take it outside.'  With a dexterity that most don't think I'm capable of, I quickly jumped out of bed and opened the screen door, while simultaneously encouraging Clawde very firmly to get out.  Typical of a cat, he ignored me.  It was much more fun to cruelly pick up and then let free this poor creature.  By this time, Purrkins thought he'd come and check it out, watching lazily from the sidelines. 

Guess what?  Shawn woke up this time!  Sensing where this was going, he went to have a shower, leaving us to it.

Oh look, a mouse!

I watched the taunting for a minute or so, realising that neither cat was inclined to finish the job.  At one stage, the little mouse made a run for it, while Clawde and Purrkins decided that it was time for a mutual grooming session.  Seriously?  It was time to bring in the big guns.



Chamois has proven herself in the past when we have had a rat problem at the chicken coop.  She is ridiculously quick and efficient, nothing escapes and nothing suffers.  I called her in, knowing that I needed her skills once again.  She picked up the mouse swiftly and then put it down again...unharmed!  I threw some verbal encouragement in her direction, and like a good dog (which she often isn't), she picked it up again and took it to her bed.  I was so pleased and went to get some paper towel to pick up the carcass and dispose of the body.   When I came back, the little dear was sitting next to Chamois on the bed, with Chamois looking at me blankly while laying quietly beside it.  If I had not have witnessed it myself, I wouldn't have believed it, but the mouse actually ran up one of her front legs and across Chamois' chest.  This did prompt a slight reaction from Chamois - she picked it up and put it in the little crook where her leg meets her chest.  Any time it tried to get away, she just put it back.  I would not even begin to unravel what was going on in her mind, but she was calm and happy.

Enough was enough, and I grabbed a blanket off one of the other dog's beds, scooped up the mouse and released it outside.  Any mouse that can survive two cats and one extra large, extra weird dog deserves to live another day.

And I've learned to lock the cat door before bedtime.

  

Friday Follies - A Canadian Navigating the Australian Vernacular, Eh?

I have been very blessed to have dual citizenship and spend my life in both Canada and Australia.  Both countries are members of the Commonwealth which means that they both have enough in common that they don't feel totally foreign to each other, and enough differences to know that you are in a different country.  Each country has a rich and similar history that has evolved over similar timelines, with the people sharing a sense of adventure, humour and attitudes.  With English as the native language (French as well in Canada, n'est-ce pas?), metric measurements (although the Canadians like to call kilometres 'klicks' - as in it's 6 klicks down the road, turn right at MickeyD's....) and Prime Ministers in charge, Canadians and Australians probably have more in common with each other than any other country. We could arguably add New Zealand into the mix, bro, but they wear jandals and put their beers in a chilly bin, so we'll exclude them for now.



Having lived most of my life in Canada, moving back to Australia involved the challenge of navigating the slang.  At least Canucks and Aussies know to spell neighbourhood and humour, not like the Yanks who are lazy spellers and leave out vowels.  Even though I have now lived here for 16 years, Canada is part of me, and sometimes the odd Canadian phrase will escape my lips, and it's blank stares all around.  Cultural education should go both ways.

Toque

Mukluks

In Canada, that thing that goes on your head to keep it warm is called a toque, not a beanie.  And to be honest, I see a lot of beanie wearing here where the temperature is still above 0C.  I don't think they have ever experienced being truly, truly cold. They have never known the particular pain of having your ears unfreeze after you forgot to wear your toque. On the opposite end of your body, Canadians wear mukluks and the Aussies wear Ugg boots.  Personally, well decorated mukluks win in my book any day, but you can't beat the comfort of an Uggy.

Which brings me to my next point.  Why do Australians feel the need to shorten EVERYTHING?  I have listed a few examples below.

Uggies - As mentioned above, Ugg boots

Mozzies - Mosquitos

Cozzies / Togs - Swimming costumes / bathers / swimsuits.  For tight fitting male swimsuits - the descriptive yet slightly disgusting Dicktogs, such as those favoured by a previous Prime Minister.

Something you don't see every day - a PM in dicktogs

Cuppa - Cup of tea or coffee

Maccas - MacDonalds, the place where you get a hamburger made with mince, not a hamburger made with hamburger and enjoy your soft drink, not pop.

Arvo - Afternoon, as in 'do you want to have a cuppa this arvo?'. Not to be confused with 'avo', which is short for avocado.

Footy - Football - which is even more confusing because that can mean soccer, rugby league, rugby union or Aussie Rules Football.  In Canada it means gridiron football.

Biccy - Biscuit (Aussie) / cookie (Canuck)

Choccy - Chocolate - delicious in any country,





Accadacca - AC/DC, need I say more?  Pretty much the backdrop music for growing up in Australia or Canada in the 80's and 90's.

Servo - Service station (Aussie) / gas station (Canuck).  Which brings  me to putting gas in the car.  You don't do this in Australia - it's petrol.  Gas is used for natural gas, but petrol is what goes in most cars, unless it's diesel, then it's diesel!

Tinny - Tin, or can, of beer

Careers - you have Cabbie, Tradie (tradesman), Postie (postman), Ambo (ambularnce attendant), Firie (fireman), Brickie (bricklayer), Chippie (carpenter), Muso (musician), Garbo (garbageman)...the list goes on and on.

And don't forget that Santa gives you a pressie (present) at Chrissie (Christmas).

I still have the constant battle of to-MAY-to versus to-MAH-to.  I believe that I am correct with my Canadian pronunciation.  Who says po-TAH-to? It's po-TAY-to in any country.

No matter what language or slang is used, both countries are great and blessed countries. 



Loonie and Toonie



At the end of the day, no matter where you live, you've just gotta give'r, eh?  We are all trying to deke out life, enjoy a mickey or two-four that we bought with loonies and toonies while being a keener at work to avoid going on the pogie. 

Figure that one out, Aussies!

PS - I have heard just as many Aussies, particularly Queenslanders, say 'eh' as Canadians. So take off, you hoser.

Bob & Doug McKenzie - true Canadian Hoser