Friday Follies - First Dates - A Murky Pool



The TV has been awash lately with reality TV shows, most of them about getting married to strangers, dating strangers, or having your friends fix you up with strangers.  It seems that dating is considered to be entertaining for everyone - for both those involved and those on the outskirts.

It has prompted some discussions amongst my friends about dating 'back in the day' and what we thought of it.

I didn't meet my husband until my mid-30's, so there was a lot of dating water under the bridge.  I also know people that are on second marriages (hubby included), so they had to endure dating after a significant break.

I don't think I'm spilling any state secrets by saying that the dating pool is murky and can be equally fully of danger, unknowns as well as a whole lot of fun.  And the unexpected surprise when that first date turns into a last date when you fall in love and want to spend your lives together.

Personally, I really liked dating.  Obviously a lot went badly - I was single for a long time.  This might give you some insight into my psyche, but I didn't mind the bad dates.  I can't tell you how much fun it was to get home from a bad date, call my bestie (because we were usually both single at the same time) and dissect the date and the poor guy.  So many laughs were had, and we never lost our sense of humour.  Well, that's not true.  Sometimes we would get quite down about never finding the 'right' guy at the 'right' time.  There were lots of guys (whoops, sorry honey, not lots.  Just a few....) that were great but it was not the right time for either him or me, but that meant it wasn't to be.

I always approached dating as an entertaining activity, and an opportunity to learn more about yourself. 

Were you being unrealistic? 

Was there a pattern forming? 

Were you attracting the right type of person? 

Should you have bothered to shave your legs? 



Maybe you should have ordered the Lobster Thermidor, because  the rest of the night was a write off. 

Is there a possibility that your cat is the best companion you can find? 

Nothing!

Is it really that hard for people to chew with their mouth closed? 

You know, those kind of queries that run amok in your head.

It was fun.  That little flutter of anticipation while you wait to meet with them or wait for them to pick you up - that was always a rush.  And quite often there was the drop of disappointment when you knew immediately that it was not going to work out.  I didn't mind that though, because it just meant that the pressure was off, and I immediately knew to start taking notes for the obligatory phone call to your friend after.  As far as I'm concerned, a story is a story, and the funnier the better.

After date gossip sessions



Then there were the dates that had you floating on Cloud Nine. Everything went well, your tummy did that little flip when you saw them (again or for the first time on a blind date), the conversation flowed, he thought you were hilarious, you thought he was hilarious, there was no greenery stuck in your teeth when you got home, and that little spark was lit with the good night kiss.  Ahhh, when it went well, it went well.  And yet it still warranted a blow by blow description on the phone to your bestie afterwards.  Trust me, neither of us minded being woken up in the middle of the night for these phone calls.  We both listened with relish and cackled our way through many disappointments.

Everyone high 5's after a good date.

I won't recount any of my 'bad' date tales, or my friends' tales, as I don't think that's fair in a public forum.  Hand me a glass of wine in a private setting, and I'll most likely spill the beans. There truly is someone for everyone, and just because you didn't like the person, or found the way that they moved in for a kiss completely repulsive, that doesn't mean that someone else won't think that they have found the 'one' with that person.  Just walk down the street and observe all of the different pairings.  I think it's fantastic that we all want a different kind of person.  There were be an awful lot of lonely people if we all chose the same type.

It takes all types...



As much as I miss the fun and the surprises of dating, I'm pretty happy where I am now.  The fact that I did get to enjoy dating in all of it's forms means that I don't ever feel like I missed out, or think that there is someone better out there.  I kissed my frogs, I met my prince.

We had a pretty good first date - we met for coffee and ended up talking for so long that we had dinner.  There were heaps of laughs, a cheeky kiss and the promise of a future.  That's my kind of date.