The biggest news story on the planet this week is the summit with Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un. Or otherwise known as 'Dumb and Dumber'. The fact that a) this has actually happened and b) these two are actual leaders is one of those mysteries that will never be solved in our lifetime.
I've put together some things that happened in their secret meeting, the things that haven't been revealed to the world at this time. And may never be. But you heard it here first.
1. "Look, we've written secret notes in class because we're new best friends".
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| He likes me, he really likes me! |
2. "I love what you've done with your hair! Tell me who styles you!"
3. "Yeah, I know, I met with the wrong Kim in the Whitehouse the other week. The good news is - we made a deal too!"
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| "Whoops, so this isn't the leader of North Korea??" |
4. "That's two for two. Now, I need to make a deal with Kim Basinger and Kim Cattrell."
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| Only if your name is Kim. |
5. "I think this new TV show is a great idea. We just need to change the phrase 'You're fired! to "You're tortured!'."
6. "Don't you just love being on the front pages of all the newspapers around the world? In two months, let's insult each other again and then have another make-up meeting. Maybe somewhere a bit less humid though....my hair, you know."
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| "Yoohoo, Trumpy. It's time to be in the news again." |
7. "Oh, no, I think you misunderstood. I said 'Give up your nukes', not 'Give up your cukes'. I have enough of my own cucumbers, thanks."
8. "Ha, they think we are working out a deal, but the truth is that I'm kicking your ass at Pictionary."
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| "I win." |
9. "Did you see what I said about Trudeau? I thought you'd like that."
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| Um, he's the Prime Minister, not the President... |
10. "I've only ever played Hangman on paper, but I like how you've incorporated it into your regime."
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| "Settle down, we don't want everyone to know my tricks." |
I guess we'll just have to keep our eyes open to find out what really happened at that meeting!
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